Glass Half Full
There is this old made up story that I absolutely love. There are two brothers. One of the brothers is always so positive. The other brother is always negative about everything. One Christmas the parents thought it would be a good idea to give the son who is negative great and wonderful gifts. Maybe this would help him be more positive and they would give the optimistic brother a horrible gift to let him know that life isn’t always wonderful. So Christmas morning comes around and the negative son opens gift after gift but nothing is quite right. The TV is just too big for his room. The new bike just is not fast enough. The positive brother sat and watched his brother open gift after gift. Finally, he is given a shoe box that is wrapped with his name on it. He tells his parents thank you. He opens the box and it is full of manure. There are flies all around it and it stinks horribly. The little boy is so excited. He is smiling ear to ear. He just keeps thanking his parents. Finally the parents ask him why he is so excited for such a horrible gift. The boy responds, “with this much manure, there must be a pony close by.” While there is nothing wrong with being pessimistic and nothing quite wonderful about being optimistic, there are so many real benefits in life in being grateful.
There have been many studies done both in physical medicine and the mental health field about the impact of gratitude. There are two psychologists, Dr. Robert A. Emmons of the University of California, Davis, and Dr. Michael E. McCullough of the University of Miami who looked closely at gratitude to show the impact that it has on your overall attitude but also on your physical health. Other studies have shown an impact on eating habits, anxiety and depression. The training and mindfulness that it takes for us to be grateful in our lives can have some real lasting benefits for us.
Another leading researcher in this field, Dr. Martin E. P. Seligman, a psychologist at the University of Pennsylvania, tested the impact of various positive psychology interventions on 411 people, each compared with a control assignment of writing about early memories. When their week's assignment was to write and personally deliver a letter of gratitude to someone who had never been properly thanked for his or her kindness, participants immediately exhibited a huge increase in happiness scores. This impact was greater than that from any other intervention, with benefits lasting for a month.
One of the most important factors, in my opinion, is that gratitude helps people focus on what they have and not what they lack. Even when times are difficult we can become people who focus on the things to be grateful for in our life. I want to give you a few tips on how to create an attitude of gratefulness.
Self-gratitude: Each day take a moment and tell yourself 3 things you like about yourself. I know this one feels weird and silly. It will feel super awkward at first. But do it! Keep doing it for a while. It will get easier. The goal isn’t to over inflate ourselves but to let ourselves hear gratefulness from ourselves.
Make someone feel important: Your gratitude will go so much further when you start to tell the people in your life how important they are to you. This will improve relationships and it will also strengthen your own confidence. We live in a society that is focused on a screen and focused on self. Take a moment and look someone in the eyes and tell them what they have meant to you.
Share the experience: Anytime we are wanting to grow in something a friend can often help. Invite a friend into the experience of gratitude. Let them know that you want to meet with them once a week, a month or when ever works for your schedule. Instead of taking that time to talk about problems or frustrations. Enjoy a cup of coffee and share the things you have been grateful for over the last week.
Quotes about Gratitude:
"Gratitude turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity… it makes sense of our past, brings pace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow."
Melody Beattie
"He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has."
Epictetus
"It's a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things that you lack."
Germany Kent
"Piglet noticed that even though he has a Very Small Heart, it could hold a rather large amount of gratitude."
A.A. Milne
"Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for."
Epicurus
"Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Let gratitude be the pillow upon which you kneel to say your nightly prayer. And let faither be the bridge you build to overcome evil and welcome good."
Maya Angelou
My final encouragement is this. I really want to make myself clear. Let yourself be happy! I get it. Life isn’t always happy. I’m not asking you to put on a fake smile on the days that you can’t. But, I want to give you permission to take a moment and be grateful. To focus on just one thing. You may not even think it’s a big thing. But speak it out load and voice your gratefulness. Voice your gratefulness to yourself, your gratefulness to the spouse who needs to hear it, the friend that has impacted you.
